How to Make a Comeback

Who am I hiding from? The best version of me…if I were to put it simply. I don’t know whether I fear success or if I’ll truly ever achieve it. Will I really ever start? All I know is to keep going, keep working if it’s maintaining what I have at least. Work pays the bills? Keep on working. What about a shift in career, if I should be established in one by now at my age? Failure is to be expected but I do not want to feel defeated. That’s truly loser shit; I’d rather look insane to keep trying or…concede to something I no longer want to do day in and day out. I have a plan but most of the time any plan I may have does not come into fruition. Why have I not made the right decision yet? I cannot answer that for myself…

Where I last left off, I was just getting my life together. Getting my job back, moving to a new place and now I’m at the point of constantly maintaining the pieces of that newly swept together life. This is my new start. Although there’s plenty going on, things are quite uneventful; not in the sense of thrill-seeking but the things that are necessary to safeguard what’s been cultivated. The feeling of being fully caught up on everything. Rent is paid but behind on the electric bill, phone bill hasn’t been paid, gotta go to the laundromat because I need a new washer and dryer. Haven’t felt that basic sense of security for a while now. I’m still scraping by but at least allow me to say, nice to see you again.