Old Lady, Young Spirited?
I learned something about myself yesterday. That something was less new, and more so expounded on a notable aspect of me. I’m an old lady at heart. From the way that I grew up, to how I handle experiences, to how deeply I feel it in my bones and soul. I am an old lady.
How it came about, I was talking to a co-worker, who happens to be a much older lady. She’s past retirement age and is still working. We were just chatting and talking about being tired after work of course. We both worked since we were teenagers, while I was saying how our line of work requires so much movement that rest outside of work has become a hobby. If joints and muscles don’t start to ache or hurt in some way then the simple act of sitting down once you’re home can be addicting. In your uniform and all.
She told me about how at one point in time she had such a bad pain in her lower back and leg that after so many trips to the doctor, she learned that it wasn’t her sciatic nerve or simple muscle spasms. She had two slipped discs…terrifying! The doctors were able to repair and treat her to where she could walk as normally as possible again with no more pain; however, thinking about how it could have been something more; she could possibly not be walking again. At nearly twice my age, how she describes what works physically for her body as well as her mental and emotional well-being as far as a work schedule is what is ideal for me as an employee. Although I still walk briskly as my normal pace for a woman my age I still get moments where I’m tired, overworked, brain overloaded, and plate just full while I’m starving from being unsatisfied yet overwhelmed.
“You’re very mature for your age,” is something I’ve heard the most as I was growing up. It wasn’t my favorite compliment even though it was one of the most consistent. My focus, observation, attention to detail, and resilience often triggered those praises of maturity. Even with my jovial and sometimes terse personality, my dedication to precision made me more developed than peers my age. Talking to my co-worker about working and experiences and what it does to your body in visible and intangible ways made me aware of how profound my soul navigates. Old soul yet young spirited. Cliche but applicable.
The body truly keeps the score. Just like you grow as a person overall, the fundamental core parts that speak of your personality and character grow with you. The becoming and the distasteful.
